Monday, April 15, 2024

No Excuses? Right here, Attempt These


Pricey Jen,

Assist! It is July and there are not any good holidays developing, plus no birthdays in my household, and I WANT CAKE. Are you able to assist?

– Cakeless in Cincinnati

 

Pricey Cakeless,

My expensive wrecky minion, you’ve got come to the best place. Reality is, there are heaps of excuses for cake, if you happen to solely be taught to rejoice the little issues in life.

A number of options:

I POOPED TODAY!

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Relying in your fiber consumption, I guess a few of you possibly can rejoice this EVERY day.

 

My ’99 Nokia Nonetheless Works!

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Leslie claims this was presupposed to say “Previous buddies are the perfect.” However give it some thought: are you able to play Sweet Crush in your buddies whilst you’re pooping? NO YOU CANNOT.

I relaxation my case.

 

It Was Only a Warmth Rash!

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Time will inform.

(Truly, Rebecca tells me this was presupposed to say “Child.” Is she telling the reality? Mmmm… PERHAPS.)

 

I am A Nice Eating Companion!

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Particularly whereas consuming cake.

 

That Factor Is Over!

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SUCH a reduction, am I proper?

 

However perhaps none of those apply to you, Cakeless. 
In that case, this is one for nearly everyone:

Not Lifeless But!

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In actual fact, I feel we should always all congratulate one another for not being lifeless but.

So, congratulations, guys.

And sorry, ghosts-with-internet-access.

 

Because of Alyssa V., Rebecca W., Leslie M., Emilie F., Scott D., & Kat R. for the right excuse.

*****

And now, our product placement of the day!

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A Sloth’s Pocket book Of Excuses

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